According to Adaeze Yobo who got married to Joseph Yobo in 2010, one of the major reasons for failed marriages is an ‘I deserve’ mentality as well as an overinflated ego.
See her advice below...
This reminded me so much of the first 2years of my marriage (when i had too much ego, it was all about me and what “I deserve”) I will always randomly have in mind that my husband shld know “we gotta go out” i wld seat my ass down all the time and just get mad, I mean doesn’t he know? I won’t even tell him nonsense! It wasn’t that i desperately wanted to go out cos most of the time, we did we had nothing to say to each other but my “i deserve mentality” my after all, i’m the woman” “the queen” mentality, was my motivating factor. Just texting or calling my hubby to say “hey babe, there is this restaurant that makes the best prawns (his fav) let’s casually go after yur training. Was what I shld hav said but here is what I actually said for 2 years, “Joe (which is what I call him wen am mad) everybody went to that restaurant on that street and even last night this persons husband took her”. Then he goes from 0-100 in like 2.2 secs and then my ego kicks in. (You don’t want to know how fast I also went kuku) and no one ends up eating I always said to the pple that i complain to, “How dare he? Just cos I want us to go out and have a nice dinner, dont i Deserve it eh”? Anyway, the moral of this (long) story, is that when I changed from my “i deserve” mentality to “we deserve” slowly, the tables turned. Now he makes our date plan calendar for a month i lost out on seeing that soft amazing person he is for the first 2years cos I was always ready to fire, after all he Shld have read the manual before marriage “ideservementalityistherootofallevil #veryrandombutthoughttoshare #haveagreatweekendlovers
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