“I choose Davido, he’s so passionate and trendy. I choose Wizkid, he looks cute and ready to mingle.”
Whichever one of those shiny musicians that you can identify with, you all would agree that it will be so much fun to make them reconcile, hug themselves, apologize for all perceived and committed wrong done, smoothen all the harm inflicted and even get to share a shiny bottle of Ciroc…and an ugly stripper together.
We would want them both to have a taste of pure bromance, and goodwill that comes from just realizing that your worst enemy can make a U-Turn and appear smiling at your friend zone.
To make this happen, here are 5 ways to unite the camps of Wizkid and Davido.
Pay Them For A Collabo
What better way to bring together two good singers than to dangle the carrot of a hit song before them?
Wikid and his sharp intrusive vocals will be the opener, while Davido and his smoky raspy voice with an abundance of power will take the hook. Then they’ll talk about the nonsense that makes them happy and fight.
A Wizkid-Davido collaboration which will have a video shot, will make both stars love themselves again…especially when it’s a hit song that will overtake the success of Don Jazzy’s down-to-earth luxury anthem, “Dorobucci”.
Pay Them To Reconcile
Okay…they might decide not to do a song together. Their publicists might come out with some silly political statement that reads like: “Our clients believe that a collaborative effort at this moment does not suit their interest. Perhaps in the future they will be open to establishing a working relationship.”
What Nonsense?
Well, since the money is there, then pay them the money. Tell Wizkid that “I will Show You The Money”, and buy designers for Davido’s girlfriend, and that’s all. Pump their bank accounts with N100m and see them begin to sing a different tune.
Check their Facebook info and you’ll see: Siblings: David Adeleke & Ayodele Balogun. Money can surely buy blood ties.
Perhaps they might stand their ground and reject the money, and that is why we should be ready with…
Threaten Them With Ifa’s Curse & Sango’s Thunder
Incidentally, both stars are Yoruba, and we all know how much Ifa and Sango make things happen in that part of the world.
If they refuse music and money….call on the most powerful ugly-looking and ancient Ifa Priest, and get him to give them seven market weeks to reconcile…or get Sango’s oracle to pay them a visit during a rainy day, and with lightening in the sky, order them to make a peace sacrifice and never have a twitter war…
You will see wonders!
Use Love Potions And Enchantment
Every day we read stories of people being manipulated by romantic voodoo and charms to fall in love with a stranger, or someone with an unfavourable disposition to intimacy and commitment.
It’s a way of life in rural..and sometimes, urban Nigeria.
Why can’t we get a little creative with the content of our charms, and use it against the two pop stars. You’ll be amazed to find Davido singing a R&B love ballad dedicated to the love of his life – Wizkid.
Trust Wizkid, he’ll tell Davido to ‘dance for him while he sprays his money on his stiff waist.”
Release Their Nude Photos
With naked photos of international stars setting alit the internet, one way to untie Wizkid and Davido on a common cause is to hack their iClouds and release nude photos of them.
No way they won’t have had a high mad moment, where they let down their shots and boxers, and stood illegally for crazy photos. Leak that out and we’ll have ourselves a real cause for concern.
What better way to unite two celebrities other bringing adversity to their doorstep and giving them a common enemy.
It will surely crack us up to see the golden headline: Wikid & Davido unveils foundation to fight against nude selfies.
Credit: Pulse
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